Captain Infinity,
Hi! Just wanted to let you know you're pathetically stupid and lame,
y'know what I mean? Like, you suck. You suck in all sorts of ways,
drooling around hard cocks, and thick nutty turds, and whatever else
anyone cares to stuff in your mouth, 'cause you let them, 'cause you
like the attention.
How many times did you say, "I taught it to fly", in reference to
kicking a cat across the room? Twice, was it? Maybe three times.
You thought it was clever enough to say once, that's pathetic enough.
And let's look at what you're bragging about: KICKING A CAT. Hard.
The smaller and weaker of the two most popular pets, and you're
boasting about kicking this small, delicate creature across the room.
My god, what a pathetic and impotent little man you must be. Hell,
you can't even kick a wolf, or a leopard, or a Saint Bernard or
anything. No, you have to kick an ordinary, domestic little pet *****
kitty CAT. Holy Christ, your ***** must be small and always drippy,
producing a cold little puddle in your briefs, resulting in your
constant discomfort and petulance. You must be exceedingly uptight
and miserable, itchy with flaming red acne all over your face -- and,
naturally, people swerve to avoid you, lest you leak your disgusting
infected pus on them.
"Captain Infinity". Fuuuck. You're not the Captain of anything --
you couldn't dominate a DILDO. Try "Captain Skidmark". Hmm.
"Captain Manboob"? There you go. "Captain Chucklefart. Now we're
getting somewhere!
What's more, I bet you never actually DID kick a cat -- you're just
pathetic enough of a fat **** turd to think it's worth LYING about, to
BRAG about! Like your eleven-year-old boogerloving crusty-butthole
friends might look up to you for it. "I taught it to fly, heeyuck,
chortle, fart." What a stupid **** turd you are! Let me know if you
need me to elaborate on this, okay?
Now, be sure to PLEASE print this post out, and tape it on your
mirror, so you can read and reflect upon it each morning.
Sincerely,
Ben
P.S. ****face! Hey, ****face! I know where there's some GAY COCK to
stuff in your FAT ****MOUTH, you UGLYWEED ****FACE! You want some
GREASY DICK for your LONELY STUPID MOUTH?!? 'Course you do, ya pimple-
lipped polesmoker! That's you, CAPTAIN ****FACE, eating turds by the
pound! And I'd say "You go, girl", if it made you happy (why not?
sure! why NOT be a flabby $12 throat**** whore, working out of your
Dad's basement? **** it! nothing matters! it's all stupid,
everything's stupid, nobody understands you!), but that's the sad and
pathetic part: ****FACE, you're NOT HAPPY, and you NEVER WILL BE.
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