Jake Blues wrote:
> Maybe this is something I should tell my shrink, who I haven't seen in a
few
> weeks. But noone here knows who the hell I am, so WTF. I'm posting to
> alt.drugs.pot because pot is psychedelic, if only mildly so.
>
> I just woke up from a dream which was both happy and sad. In this dream,
I
> was with a bunch a friends, having a blast on psychedelics, mushrooms
and
> LSD in particular. I haven't had a full-blown psychedelic experience in
> about a year now, so it's not too surprising that I'd have such a dream.
But
> everyone in this dream was in the 18-25 crowd, college students mostly.
But
> what made a lasting impression on me was the ending of the dream. Like I
> said, everyone was enjoying themselves, having a great time --- but then
the
> party ended. Everyone eventually left with their degrees and quit doing
any
> kind of psychedelic. They had their fun, and then they went off to join
the
> "establishment," as some put it.
>
> I woke up and was almost crying. I'll be 33 in a few weeks. Both bro and
sis
> took the exact path as the people in the dream; 'nuff said. I've never
been
> to a rave, and have only been fortunate enough to get hold of LSD a very
few
> times. Part of me feels like I've sorta missed out, and part of me
thinks
> I've just gotten too ****ing old to have any right to want anything like
> that, that "trip drugs" are only for the young, that by this time you
either
> do more harmful things like cocaine or heroin or booze, or you quit.
>
> Why I'd get so emotional over this I have no idea. Maybe I should just
try
> to get some pot and chill out. Or maybe I should just accept my age and
move
> on, as it were. I mean, even Timothy Leary didn't do any psychedelics
for
> the last twenty years of his life and said that psychedelics are a good
> school, but they're one to graduate from. At least that's what someone
told
> me. Could anyone, particularly those over thirty, respond?
>
>
48 here and long time passed since any psychedelics (not counting weed).
For me tripping really helped sort out inevitable issues of "who am I"
etc that were so difficult in my teens and 20's. As I was able to
incor****ate what I learned through tripping (and growing up, having and
losing girlfriends, jobs, and college) it became less useful. Still a
part of who I am, and certainly affects my continued growth as a person.
I wouldn't go so far as to say that I grew out of it as much as
internalized the experiences, eliminating the need to physically take
psychedelics.
I guess that's a good way to put it: the experience continues to inform
but does not define my present.
Don't feel so bad about people "selling out" and joining the
establishment. It's a lot more complicated than that (sounds like
justification eh?) You are you and living up to some hippy ideal isn't
for everyone, and is no more valid than going in any other karmically
sound way (becoming a cop, joining the mafia, producing **** etc are not
karmically sound paths in my opinion). I know people from the old days
who have remained hippies, others who got PhD's in anthropology, others
than learned a trade and others that joined the cor****ate workforce.
Such a cliche to say it but in the end it's who you remain and become on
the inside that counts - how you love your kids and partners, how other
people come to value you, and how you adhere to a standard of ethics,
however self-defined.
Sounds like you are describing an understanding that the current life
may not be sustainable, yet the possible futures are unclear, but all
seem fraught with compromise. Well, maybe they are, but the one thing
that is certain is that the future will come. Your job is to continue to
becoming who you are. That should never stop until the day it all
does.
I was stuck for a few years in my late twenties trying to see the way
forward after a lot of years of partying and psychedlics, and ultimately
the only way forward was to finish college and start working in the
world. It wasn't for me to go completely hippy and join a commune, nor
was I ready to join the Army. I had to get to the point where I feared
staying where I was more than moving into the unknown.
I must say that those first few months of "going underground" in
cor****ate America were as mind-blowing as anything I had ever
experienced. When I reveal some of my past now to the thirty year olds I
work with, they are dumbfounded.
BTW, from my observations, former college age psychedelic users are more
susceptible to prescription drug abuse than coke or alcohol. Lost one
friend a few years back to hydrocodone and got another friend who is a
potential OD'er. Both were my best acid buddies back around '78-'82.
So, my only moralizing advice as an oldster is to be careful with the
opiates.
Sorry for the ramble....
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