***, Lies, and Crack Cocaine

I thought I would lay low for a while, but I re-read the early replies
to my "Coming To An End" post and I found this statement interesting.
It's very much like me and I'm not alone. That is an understatement.

On October 30th, Tricks wrote " I don't go into the **** thing with
folks but here I thought I would it's a duel thing with me, funny
thing I don't tend to watch it unless I'm smoking crack.  Sometimes I
want a few girls other times quite time when using, but the *** thing
is big to me also when using. "

For 95% or better for most men, especially white middle class in the
35-55 year old range, *** and ****o is the ONLY thing when smoking
crack. In 1996, I was 45 years old and needed to run out there to
chase the occasional prostitute like many unhappily married men.
Sometimes there was ***, many times there was not. I just liked having
the younger girl's company. It was a good feeling while being
oblivious for the moment that she's a street hustler. However, if you
cruise around out there long enough you're bound to find the girl who
also uses hard drugs. That's what happened to me and probably
thousands of others like me. Crack Cocaine found us. So was our
"addiction" chasing young women, watching ****o, feeling young, or
smoking crack cocaine? Or was it just being plain stupid?

Is there a difference between a guy cheating on his wife with a woman
who smokes rock or ****ing a woman who doesn't? I don't think so. Many
woman blame "the devil" for their spouse's behavior and are usually
forgiving him time and time again. They become the enabler. It is
simply a disease and not his fault. But for a moment, let's take crack
cocaine away from the whore he's ****ing every other night. Now when
the wife busts him, who gets the first phone call? Not an NA member,
best friend, or her mother. You can bet your ass on that. It's her
lawyer that gets that first phone call. If you **** a crack whore,
we'll schedule an intervention. If you **** a nice clean Ivy League
girl, I get both houses and the kids.

I tried powder cocaine once 15 years earlier in 1981, never smoked a
cigarette, and have absolutely no recollection of that first hit, the
second, the third, and the fourth. But what I do remember the most was
being in a situation where I felt like a king, every night I knocked
on her door. Except for the guilt and looking over my shoulder, it was
great. I was busy chasing the girl, the kind that's the hardest to
romance and win over. The kind that can neither accept love or give
it. The kind that stimulated me even more than crack cocaine itself.
The kind I still have to have. The kind that no one can have.

For over ten fortunate years, I have had the money, freedom, enabler
(wife), and protectorate (girlfriend) to continue my visits to another
life where a drug helps make the impossible seem possible. There are
thousands of other men out there that do the same without crack
cocaine. What makes their lifestyle any more acceptable than mine?
Maybe someone should ask some guy's wife the next time he comes home
at 5AM returning from the local strip club, smelling like a whore. In
my opinion, I think she'd rather have him out there getting high with
the guys. After all, isn't another woman a bigger threat to her than a
tiny rock?

PS> STEADY EDDY, you have no compassion for anyone. That qualifies you
as a low-life addict. An addict whose addiction is to hurt others. And
that is not a disease.